Bed of Roses 🌹

              

                       A thought crossed my mind…. God hasn’t answered all of my questions. And he certainly hasn’t “worked all things out for the good” in any way I would’ve expected. And still there are other times when he showed up with only a quiet whisper into my spirit, yet fully revived these dead bones. He used simple things like a child’s innocent laughter, both quiet and ‘loud’ times with my ‘not so young’ children, the unconditional and complete dependence of my little puppy over me, and sometimes just a gentle breeze or a beautiful song… to remind me of His love and His grace and His mercy that is new every morning in my life.

                         There were times that I felt that God has only invited himself into my pain, when I had hoped to be invited into his healing. My expectation was that he would make the pain leave me.  And I am certain, the older I get, that some of them never will. It’s not okay. The bad things seem to settle in and stay without flying past me and some of them become part of life itself. Like chronic pain becomes a part of your daily routine – without them you feel a part of you is missing. Like I said, it’s not okay. It will never be okay. But there they are, just the same. And I have felt that if God truly loves me like He says, he would shoo them away. But for those things left unredeemed, pain can be a lifetime mortgage. I will pay on it, and I can learn to manage it, but it may not go anywhere. But it will not be all that is me. It does not complete me. While it remains, God also will remain. He will dwell within me among the thorns, and among the prayers for their removal. He will provide his compassion and care with children, love, dogs, laughter and beauty. I believe we should not pretend that we are ok all the time. And it should be ok to not be ok. It is ok to cry the ‘ugly cry. It is ok to tell God that you are angry. And when I come to understand that I need God more than I need answers...I rise up from my anguish seeing God’s faithfulness in the quiet times that I spend in His presence. I place all of these emotions in His presence – on my knees, where there is no judgement, no pointed fingers, no assumptions, but only LOVE. The love that is beyond what I have ever imagined. And in His time, He will do what he does – what he has always done. What it will be, I may not know – but I am certain there will be love in it, because up until now, there has always been love in it. 

We hear this phrase – “Life is not a bed of roses’.  Think of an actual bed of roses. Doesn’t it have both thorns and flowers? What would I see? The thorns or the flowers? Would I see the hurt or would I see the beauty? Luke 8:14 says, “The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature.” The seed being referred to here is the Word of God. Isn’t it interesting that people who are choked by life’s circumstances and never mature are referred to as having thorns in the soil of their soul?

                       Yes, life sometimes hands me thorns, but I have the choice to park my mind on the thorn or on the beauty it can eventually produce in me, if only I cling tightly to God’s Word and His presence. How a person thinks is how they will eventually become. If I dwell on the negative in life, I will become negative and God’s Word will not take root in my soul. If, however, I acknowledge the negative but choose instead to look for the good that can come from it, God’s Word will take root in my soul and produce a lush crop of beauty. It all comes down to my choice.

Written by: Anu Varghese