Emotion words- Despair

 

Lately I have been in this journey of acknowledging my feelings. Human beings tend to stuff down negative feelings. We do this because those feelings are uncomfortable. We are not typically encouraged to let ourselves fully experience our so-called “negative” emotions. Anger can be messy. Sadness can be messy. We may dissolve into tears or erupt in an outburst. Our emotions might make other people feel uncomfortable or want to run away from us. We prefer to run or hide from hard emotions. A lot of people hold back when it comes to expressing their emotions because they’re afraid of being labeled by them. I have learned that our capacity to name emotions and our willingness to experience and recognize them makes us stronger in the long run. Understanding and acknowledging what you feel and being transparent about the feeling can allow us to respond and manage our emotions better especially when we stand in alignment with the word of God and allow the Holy Spirit to lead us in the right way.

Today I would like to address the feeling of:

Despair

It is a feeling of complete loss or absence of hope. Being in a space of feeling hopeless and helpless is one of the most difficult places to be. I have found myself in this place many a times. The sense that things are profoundly wrong and will not change for the better. It can carry a sense of time wasted, a sense of dread. So, when I feel the sense of ‘despair’ I remember  2 Cor 4:7 – this verse shows a lot of negative emotions that we could be feeling – hard pressed, perplexed, persecuted, struck down. It says we are perplexed, but not in despair. Perplexed meaning – to be without resources, be lost, confused, in doubt. This verse acknowledges that we could be feeling all these emotions, but we still have eternal life to hope for. We may be in doubt, but we should not feel that we are failing God or failing as a Christian because we are feeling this emotion. What do I do when I am in this space? Vs 12 –‘So then death is at work in us, but life is at work in you’

I refuse to renounce hope; I don’t have all the answers, but what I do know is that it is said – ‘For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the people on the face of the earth to be His people, His treasured possession’ - Deut 7:6. God calls me His treasured possession, fully knowing I would go through these emotions, I would feel despair when I am placed in this situation. C.S Lewis said – ‘The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.’ We are flawed; Beautiful, but broken; Spirited, but sinful. We don’t always work right, and God is not shocked that we don’t work well. That we sometimes feel despair, hurt, jealous, rude or deceitful; too much of something and not enough of something else. That we are imbalanced, and we are messy. But you know what else I am while I feel all of these emotions? I am ‘His treasured possession’! I don’t know about you but that thought makes me want to jump with joy!! In my days of feeling ‘despair’ I will recognize the feeling, but I will also allow the Holy Spirit to speak into my feeling and shout from the mountain top that I am the daughter of the King, His treasured possession and because of Him I will go on living, I will survive this feeling and I will live in the fullness of His love. I stand tall!

Written by: Anu Varghese