Emotion word - Bitterness

 

Bitterness: Anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment. a feeling of antagonism, hostility. 

Bitterness starts out small. An offense seeps its way into our hearts. We replay it in our minds, creating deep feelings that will be hard to break out of. We retell our hurts to all available listeners, and we enlist support which pushes us further into our resentment. We perceive the offense as intentional and our offender as full of spite. We look for other reasons, both real and imagined, to dislike our villain. With each new piece of information, we form another layer of bitterness. Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." So how can we do that? How can we prevent bitterness from moving into our hearts?

Our lack of forgiveness is why we choose to hold onto bitterness, letting it ripen into full grown resentment. I want to acknowledge the fact that some offenses are very difficult to forgive and move on especially when the hurt is deep and the pain it leaves is even deeper, and sometimes hits us like a ton of bricks - reaching right down to our very existence. We may find ourselves unable to forgive, while the offender is going about their life nonchalantly without realizing what our true feelings are. And sometimes, we need to admit that we are unwilling to forgive. We may be walking in bitterness and soothing our own selves - truly experiencing hurt, but have not considered the fact that we need to forgive and release the offender from the bondage that we are holding them in, for our own soul cleansing. We need to come in terms with the reality that sometimes what it takes is to walk away from the history and be focused on our destiny that God has planned out for us. Bishop T D Jakes says: “I will override the way I feel and do what I am called to do”. We should understand that we are to forgive because we are forgiven. Psalms 86:15 says, “But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness”

We often say - "You don't understand what they did to me." Others may not understand, but Jesus Christ does. He lived a perfect life, but was beaten, mocked, spit on, and hung on a wooden cross to die a cruel death. Yet, John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world……” that he loved the world enough to go through this. Sometimes we mistakenly think he died only for us, but when he died, he died for your offender, yes, the one who caused you so much pain and hurt that it knocked the wind out of you!.  Do they deserve it? No. Do we deserve it? Again, no. But still, he hung on that cursed tree because of his love for each of us.. I have found it is very difficult to be unforgiving toward those I am praying for. It's not easy to start praying for them; it's one of the hardest things I've done. But when I make that person an object of my prayer, I open the door of my heart a little wider so that God can come in and breathe on my hardened heart, melting the icy resentment and bitterness that is there.

Hebrews 12: 14-15 – “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” . Bitterness will affect us physically, emotionally, and spiritually because the fruit of bitterness is an acid that destroys its container. It will also spread to people around us and as we continue to harbor and feed the feeling inside of us, it will erode the joy, peace and happiness within ourselves and the people that we influence. What God expects of us is to show up as an extension of heaven wherever we are placed. Unless we choose to let go of what is destroying our insides, we will not be at peace and feel whole. I want to be a woman who exemplifies peace and spread the love of Christ in all my interactions. So, I will choose to forgive, I will choose to let go of the pain, bitterness, and resentment so I make room for His glory to shine through me.

Written by: Anu Varghese