The vision awaits

 

We live in an instant world. Everything is in our fingertips. The search engines, social media, news, shopping, knowledge, bank accounts.. you get the picture. Waiting for anything is frustrating and provokes anxiety in all of us. Gone are the days when you had to go into a library to research about something or do your homework. Work life has become remote for a lot of people. Everything that requires a wait time is in the past and outdated. It is easy for us to become impatient when something doesn’t happen when we think it should. Recently, I was faced with a situation where I knew exactly how God wanted me to go about it. I knew He promised me something very clearly. But me being human found it very hard to wait. The passing of time built anxiety and doubt in my head. The battle I faced with my heart and my head was nearly unbearable. I found myself at the verge of tears most of the time thinking of all the possible ‘what ifs’. I believed the delay would mean I will once again face my shame and it will all be on me! I created scenarios in my ever-active mind knowing fully well what God has promised in the midst of it. I found it impossible to wait.

God reminded me of Habakkuk 2:3 – Every vision has an appointed time, and it will surely take place and that it will not be delayed. God is not a man that he shall lie. The sad part of all this is that my head knew all of this. There was no question in my mind about what God has spoken. I have learned to hear His voice as a sheep hears the shepherd – something I have prayed for in the past and God answered. My fallen heart wanted more.. and wanted it now!! Even when I write this down, it sounds almost ridiculous! But this is me. And God is ever so patient with me while I battle what my head knows, and my heart won’t accept. I am once again humbled and amazed at the love and patience of my heavenly father while I struggle through this battle. He remains patient with me as I wrestle through my need to control my circumstances and continues to whisper His promises over me. 

The danger in my impatience is that I would create situations which would further delay God’s promises. In my anxiety, I would complicate things. I would settle for less than what God has in store for me. The Holy Spirit led me to calm and quiet myself – Psalms 131:2 – and soothe my soul.  I remembered the times when my kids were little doing stage performances at school. There were times I was so focused on recording the scene and getting the right lighting and focus that I missed the beauty of the performance and the details of the moment. I prayed that I will not become desperate for the outcome that I miss the opportunity to live in the moment and receive peace within God’s timeline. I lean in to allow God’s voice to be the loudest in my ears.  

Written by: Anu Varghese